A Certain Genderbent Magical Index
by outerelf
Summary: Kamijou Touka, meet Kamijou Touma. With these two unfortunate people meeting, the battle of the century is about to take place. Magicians will clash, fires will burn, and plans will be ruined. Perhaps. "Just as planned-"
1. Chapter 1

The person in the liquid floated upside down serenely, speaking softly and quietly to the person outside of the clear, transparent tube. "A portal has been opened between dimensions. Currently no one has passed through it, but we're not certain why or even how such a portal was made."

A holographic video screen appeared, showing a small back alleyway. "I recognize that place." The calm, clear voice of the person standing outside of the tube spoke. "So you want me to shut down the portal, correct?"

"Yes- the portals strength as is might not even be completely destroyed by Kamijou's right hand, and such a destabilized portal might bring a rather bad situation about-"

BOOM!

Both stopped talking as a bolt of electricity scorched the ground in the video, as a hurtling form could be seen streaking down the alleyway, directly for the portal. Another lighting bolt followed the form, just as the person darted through the portal. The portal flared unstably for a moment, before settling as the other hurtled through the portal.

Silence reigned for a few seconds.

"Just as planned-" the person in the tube began to say, when the other interrupted.

"Don't lie."

More silence.

"Very well then, master magician of the Onmyouji- please retrieve the students who went through the portal and return them safely."

A sharp grin split the persons face as they turned to leave. "Do not fail me- Tsuchimikado Motoka."

The girls hand waved lazily. She was wearing a opened Hawaiian shirt, knotted beneath the breasts, flashing a large amount of cleavage. Tight jeans emphasized her bottom and legs, and a gold chain that dipped into the cleavage twinkled in the dim light.

"Of course not." Her tone was completely serious as she finally left.

* * *

Kamijou Touma is an unlucky boy. Anyone and everyone will tell you that. He is also a meddling boy- just ask most girls and they will tell you that.

And, as an unlucky, meddlesome boy, he got himself into a lot of trouble.

That was why, on this fine, bright day, Kamijou Touma was hit with the most ultimate misfortune involving delinquents, a girl, and a double excuse that failed.

It started with a girl being hit on by some delinquents, and so scared she could hardly speak. Touma had taken one look at this (common) scene, and started towards them, putting on his most brilliant smile.

His hand reached out towards the girl. "Excuse me, coming through! Oh my, you found my sister!"

Two different hands caught the hands of the girl, and tried to pull her in two different directions. The girl squeaked in surprise, stammering, "Ummm- who are you two?"

The two people slowly turned to face each other- one spiky-haired, one long-haired girl. One of the delinquents leaned in close, "Hey! Both of you can't be her siblings! Besides neither of you too look at all like her."

_Who- Who dared to take my excuse?_ The two people sighed in tandem, speaking as one. "ARGH! SUCH MISFORTUNE!" The duet soared through the air, as the delinquents, angry about being ignored, clenched their fists and charged.

The boy and girl ducked as one, a head-rattling slap catching the same delinquent that Touma slammed his fist into.

Double-teamed, the delinquent collapsed.

The two looked at each other, as the girl behind them slipped away. The delinquents paused in their headlong charge, eying the two oddly. Then, the two with a brilliant smile and a hand wave, said, "See you later!" And took off running.

"Huh? Waitaminute- GET BACK HERE!"

the violent love call soared after the two running people, who ran with all their might. Touma glanced at the girl, snapping, "You took my excuse!"

The girl jumped a bucket of water, skirt lifting in the wind as she snapped back, "That's my line you! I can't believe that you actually tried that!"

The long hair swirled in the wind, and Touma dragged his eyes off of it just barely in time to avoid slamming into a wall. Behind them they could hear the violent love calls of delinquents grow softer as they got further away. Both of them sighed in relief.

"Loosing them-"

VROOM!

The loud rev of a motorcycle sent chills down their spine. They rounded a corner to find a motorcycle gang, complete with chains, waiting for them. As one they stopped, turned, and darted down a side alley screaming, "SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

"Hey! You there! The boy with the spiky hair! You're the one that messed up my routine, so take responsibility and get rid of them."

"WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER GIRLS SAY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IT SENDS SHIVERS UP MY SPINE, HUH? BESIDES, IT WAS MY ROUTINE FIRST!"

The two glowered at each other, even as they ran for their lives. Through the back alleys they raced, twisting, turning, and trying to loose the delinquents that were gathering full force behind them.

Touma yelped in pain as he slammed into a pile of stacked boxes, at the same time the girl tripped into a stack of tires. The loud sound of crashing instantly brought shouts of, "Over there!"

Both heads popped up at the same time as they screamed, "SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

The angry cry lingered in the air.

Two hours later, the two of them found themselves collapsed on a park bench, breathing hard and celebrating the fact that they finally managed to get rid of the delinquents. Touma's head dipped to about knee level, as he breathed, eyes closed. "That was close. This Kamijou Touma might've been shishami today-" Touma muttered, and in response the girl twitched.

Touma turned to her with a lazy look on his face. "That reminds me- I didn't get your name."

"…Kamijou Touka."

_Oi, oi, oi,_ The two thought at the same time, _This isn't happening, right? This sort of thing- did I have a brother/sister I never knew about? Huh? Darn this stupid memory loss- wait- surely my parents would've told me… no, they wouldn't of._

Touma and Touka turned to each other with a brilliant smile, asking at the same time, "Are we related?"

Dead silence hung after that moment, and both heaved a sigh of relief. SAFE! They were just two random strangers that just so happened to have the last name. A complete and totally coincidence, with absolutely no strings attached at all- unless they were with magicians…

The smiles fell, and Touka sighed as she stood up. "I should get home soon."

"Hmm? Curfew's not for another couple of hours-"

A dark aura of depression hung over Touka as she muttered, "But that stupid Brother that I'm currently taking care of will be hungry."

Speaking of hungry… A certain nun ought to be currently frothing at the mouth over how late he was. Touma groaned as his head fell back, and he stared directly up at the sky, unaware of the girl watching the sky just as wearily, the soft sigh of "Such misfortune," slipping from their lips.

"Shall I walk you home then?" Touma offered as he began to stand up-

A chance wind blew a plastic bag underneath his feet, and he slipped, falling forwards- straight onto Touka. Both went down in a flurry of flailing arms, and landed with a rather painful sound.

Touma groaned from where his cheeks were pressed against something soft and bouncy, before slowly dragging his head up.

Touka, slightly dazed from the fall, looked up to find Touma's face hovering mere inches above hers. Silently they stared at each other, faces slowly growing bright red. Then, Touma scrambled off shouting, "I APOLOGIZE! THIS KAMIJOU TOUMA DIDN'T MEAN TOO-"

"I-It's fine, it was just an accident, right?" Touka murmured softly, slightly surprised.

She had been hit on boys many times- most of them however couldn't keep up with the amount of trouble she was, or were disillusioned when they thought she was no longer the 'Big Sister' type.

"Anyways, I'm going to go home." Touka declared, before turning on her heel and stalking out of the park. She quickly became aware of the fact that the boy was right behind her.

"Are you following me?"

"No- my home is this way as well."

The two stared at each other, wondering just how on Earth they had managed to avoid each other all of this time. Surely they would've _heard_ of this person before, right?

Touma took a few steps to catch up with Touka as both fell silent, unable to figure out anything to discuss, and hoping that the other person would quickly figure out something to speak about.

But with the combined work of two unfortunate people working against them, they ran straight into one of the delinquents they thought they had lost.

Delinquent looked at interrupters- Interrupters looked at delinquent.

"I FOUND THEM!"

Motorcycles burst out from bushes like some cheap anime scene, and the two needed no extra urging to start running for their lives.

Quickly, and a little easily, they dodged the blows, mirroring each others movements exactly. "It's like watching a gender bent version of the same person work together," One of the delinquents said in some slight amazement, even as he brought his fists up.

Touma ducked the punch, and brought his own fist up, knocking the man out.

A back hit his, as Touka raised both fists menacingly as she could- it failed miserably at first as a few of the delinquents laughed.

A vein pulsed angrily as she took a few short running steps forward, right hand coming up. "LET ME BREAK YOUR ILLUSIONS THAT ALL WOMAN ARE WEAK! !"

With a resounding _slap_ sound, the delinquent went down hard.

Touma's eyebrows went up. Wow- Now there was a girl that could handle herself. It was actually rather nice…

"And just what are you doing, standing around? This Kamijou Touka would like to request some help here."

"Ah, right! Let's do this."

It promised to be one of the most ultimate Normal Battle Couples the world had ever known. As one, the two charged, and surprised, the delinquents fell back- the two kept on charging, straight through until the charge became a 'run away!' and the delinquents realized they'd been had.

With an angry roar, and a loud vrooming sound from the motorcycles, the chase was once more on.

* * *

The 14-year-old teen sighed loudly, grumbling to himself as he looked around. He was wearing the Tokiwadai Middle School boy uniform, and his short brown hiar was slightly messed up in the window. He had been trying to find one Touka Kamijou in order to demand a fight from her- which she generally managed to turn down in a 'Big Sister' sort of way.

However that managed to work.

Tiny sparks jumped from his shoulders as he walked, giving him an electrical massage. He was absolutely exhausted from chasing off after that girl.

He noticed a girl in the same school uniform as him, and nodded to her. She nodded back, and her head craned to look down a busy street where loud noises were currently echoing down, and people were separating-

And then- he saw it. One Kamijou Touka being held by the hand and pulled down the street by a spiky-haired boy.

Dead silence fell over the two Tokiwadai students, before a scary laugh came out from the girl. A large spark came from her, shooting towards the boy. In a second, the other boy lifted his hand to block the bolt. He wasn't allowing anyone to fight Touka until _he_ did and won.

The girls eyes turned towards him, smoldering in anger. Beyond he could hear the shouts of "Quick, turn off all electronics!" "Argh, it's that crazy girl from Tokiwadai!"

"Hohoho- So- you lookin' for a fight?"

Two eyes met, clashed, and they both grinned at each other terrifyingly, and the spectacular electric firework display began.

* * *

_a/n: ... Can I expect a few reviews? Please? Anyways, this idea came as a collaboration from anime-suki's forum, so have fun reading!_


	2. The Fights Commence

Tsuchimikado Motoka was not having a good day today. She had no sooner arrived to the portal, then to watch several people wander across the border-line. Every-single last one of them guys in search of one Kamijou Touka, who had shot every last one of them down.

Not that it stopped the guys. They kept trying, and trying, and trying. But, either way- he had several guys that had disappeared into the portal in an attempt to retrieve Kamijou Touka before the portal collapsed.

It looked like he was going to need some help.

Silently he pulled out his cellphone, and made a call. "Hello? Yuriko? Guess who- Oh, ow, you wound me nee-san! But unfortunately something popped up due to a magical matter, and I'm going to need your help~"

The two traded chitchat along the lines of Motoka requesting help, and Yuriko threatening to disembowel and destroy her.

In about an hour, a white haired, red-eyed girl stood before Motoka. She was wearing a sailor-uniform, with a single flower tucked into her hair. She tched her impatience as she looked at the end of the alleyway. "I see- so it's down that way, is it? Let's get this over with."

She strode angrily towards the portal, and stepped through without a moments hesitation.

Motoka grinned as she hopped through, just barely missing the blue-headed mop of hair, and curiously shut eyes that followed her.

Then, with a scimitar sharp grin, the blue-haired boy followed the other two through.

* * *

One blue-haired boy, known only as Aogami Pierce, was bored and slightly lonely. Tsuchimikado wasn't answering his cellphone- Kamijou was nowhere to be seen. The Idiot Delta Trio Force was not currently up and running, and so it was, he wandered down through the streets and attempted to flirt with every girl (and a few shotas) he could see.

It was on one such failed attempt, he rounded a corner and came face to face with a girl.

She too had blue hair, and several earrings adorned her ears. She didn't have the most impressive rack ever, but he liked flat-chest's as well as big, so that was alright. The two began to circle each other, like hungry predators, looking for the right opening to attack. And then, with a mighty flourish they pointed at each other yelling, "You are just my type! Blue hair, piercing, being a man/woman- you have traits on my list! Will you go out with me?"

Several teens were already beginning to hurry away from the weirdos, as others looked on, disturbed but strangely drawn to this odd thing playing out before them.

The two blue-haired people frowned, heads tilting at the same time. Well- they were probably accepted- now what do they do?

Both heads turned as a small form passed by, and both drooled, "Loli~"

Then, with a snap, their heads had turned to each other. Was… this possible? Could someone actually have the same fetishes as them?

The girl took a provocative stance, finger pointing at the person across from her. "I challenge you to a fetish fuel battle!"

More then one of the watching teens took a step back in surprise. _Fetish fuel_? Really?

"I accept! I'll show you there is no girl I cannot possibly adore!"

"I too will show you there is no boy I cannot go fangirl over!"

If it were an anime, flames would be spouting off the two of them, as they glowered at each other. Then, to the surprise, amazement, and wondering of the students around them, they really did begin to shout their fetishes at each other in the middle of a **crowded street**.

"Foster sis/bro!" They started off with the exact same thing, with different genders.

"Foster mom/dad!"

"Foster daughter/son!" One person went green with that image of squick, and went running to go empty their stomachs elsewhere, as several students began to dial for the Anti-skill.

These two had to be stopped before innocent minds were completely destroyed!

* * *

Kuroko blinked as a warning went off on the computer, and she stood up, both hands slamming down on top of the desk as she recognized the signal- Onee-san was fighting. What was more- she was fighting with someone that seemed to be matching her.

"Uihara, stay here and watch the cameras. I'm going to go to Onee-sama."

Uihara pushed off on her rolling chair, letting it slide to the laptop as Kuroko vanished.

Kuroko began to teleport quickly, moving faster and faster as she approached the area where Onee-sama was undoubtedly fighting. The crackle of electricity filled the air, and she warped to stand on top of a light post.

Her eyes instantly darted to right across from her- another guy wearing the same uniform as her stood on the light post. His short hair was slightly ruffled and standing on end from the electricity, but he didn't seem that phased by it.

"Who are you?" Kuroko snapped, hand stealing to her skirt, "Are you going to interrupt Onee-sama's fight?"

The guy stared at her, his hand stealing to his waist as he smirked back at her confidently, "I'll do whatever it takes to protect Aniki- not that he'll loose to some random woman!"

Above them, two bolts of electricity met and burst apart. The two skidded back, sticking to the walls. The two electro-masters smirked, as they held out their hands. Electricty crackled through the area, and both teleporters yelled, "WAIT! NOT HERE!"

The two fighters glanced at them, glanced at each other- and then they were off like a shot, jumping from building to building, using electricity to practically fly. Within minutes, the brilliant flashes of electricity could be seen from the riverbank.

Kuroko turned towards her mysterious counterpart, holding a thick, long needle that she was about to teleport over. The guy was holding a similar deal, as the two stared at each other.

Then, with a loud crack, she vanished, and reappeared where he ought to be- but it was too late. He had teleported to where she had originally been.

Surprised, the two turned towards each other, eyes narrowing. Below them they could hear voices talking, "Look! It's two teleporters who are fighting! Who do you think is better?"

"Obviously the guy-"

"No, no, the girl is probably better-"

As the people beneath them began to argue, Kuroko glanced around for a good spot to go to. Then, she clenched her fist around the darts and teleported them away, just as the guy teleported to a higher building. She smirked, this promised to be a mighty fun fight…

"So- What's your name?" The guy called out, slightly interested.

"Kuroko. And yours?"

"Kurono."

The two teleporters stared at each other, before Kuroko teleported to right next to him as he clenched his fist around similar darts. Her foot swung out, and he quickly blocked, before teleporting away.

The next second she felt air hit her back and instantly teleported upwards into the air, allowing herself to freefall. The guy looked up, and teleported up as well, Kuroko smirked as she teleported away.

* * *

Touma gasped for breath as he leaned against the rough brick wall. Across from him, Touka leaned against a slightly smoother material, head down and long hair handing into her face as she gasped for breath. Slowly she pulled it back with her hands, and Touma blinked twice.

A sniffling sob caught their attention, and as one they turned to see a small child curled up behind a crate, sniffling loudly. Tear tracks had cut their way into a slightly grimy face, and all of Touka's maternal instincts began to cry out.

Touma took a step forward, and Touka practically tossed him to one side as she swept the child up into her arms. "There, there, don't cry, alright?"

She fumbled in her pockets, before pulling out a tissue. _Onee-san personality?_ Touma automatically thought, before his head hung. It wasn't like she would ever like him in return. Besides, both of them seemed to attract bad luck…

She wiped away the tears, and Touma crouched down next to them to ruffle the hair on the kids' head. "Hello there, what's your name?"

The kid sniffled, before muttering, "A-Ashitaba."

"Ashitaba?" Touka smiled, "That's a good name."

Touma smoothly interposed himself in, asking, "What's the matter?"

In response the kids eyes welled with more tears, making Touka shoot him a rather nasty look. Ashitaba admitted, "I-I'm lost! I can't find home!"

"Where's home? Do you know its name?"

"C-Cypress Park."

The two looked at each other. Neither had ever heard of it. "I-I came here to impress the Onee-san and to show her that I could move about on my own, but then I got lost on my way to her place-"

Touka adjusted him in her arms as she slowly stood. Touma stood with her, offering, "I can carry him if you want."

She shook her head in response, and together the two stepped out of the alleyway. Touma pulled out his cell phone, and quickly accessed the map function. Touka's head attempted to crane over his shoulder as he typed it in, and at last lowered it to her height, pointing it out.

It was all the way on the other side of the city. Touma knew he only had enough money for one trip, so he would have to walk back- something that would take a good couple of hours. He wouldn't get home until it was really dark…

"Ahahah- Only enough money for one trip."

The two looked at each other- maybe they could beg off some money from the place they were going? Nah, that would be dishonest of them, and they'd never know when they could pay it back.

They sighed, and began walking. They might as well get moving, the sooner they took the kid back, the sooner they could finally get home. To the probably furious and over-anxious Index waiting for them.

Together they set off towards Cypress Park, both wondering what they were going to do in order to get back. But they weren't about to tell the kid that. Instead Touma asked, "So- what kind of person is this Onee-san you wanted to visit?"

"She's really kind!" The kid chirruped, brightening up as he began to describe this lady. "She works as a dorm manger somewhere else, but she visits a lot and she brings along pizzas and other tasty food! Then she'll teach us songs and hand games. One day I'm going to marry her!"

The kid gestured wildly as he squirmed in Touka's arms, and the girl had to tilt her head to narrowly miss a wild hand gesture- Touma got slapped straight to the face. "Ooops! Sorry Onii-san!"

Touma laughed slightly awkwardly as he said, "No worries, no worries, this Kamijou Touma is made of stern stuff. It takes a very sharp bite to take this Kamijou Touma down!"

Touka looked at Touma with a level of surprise- most of the guys _she_ knew would've fried the kid right then and there. Maybe he wasn't as bad as she originally thought. Well, he probably wasn't because they had met trying to do the exact same thing…

"Anyways you-" Touma grabbed the kid by the cheek and pulled sharply. "You shouldn't go wandering off on your own. You realize how dangerous the streets are?"

"I didn't come here alone!" The kid protested. "I came here with a kind Onee-san, but then she got a call to go somewhere and I went and left."

The two looked at each other, wondering how much this 'onee-san' was panicking currently over the missing child. "D-Do you know her name?"

"Nope!"

Two sighs escaped into the world, and at last Touma muttered, "Well, she'll probably come back to check if he's at Cypress Park, so let's get him there."

Touka would never, ever admit it, but she was secretly glad someone was coming with her. "Touma?" She said hesitantly, and he looked down at her curiously. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked blankly, and she just kept up her smile. A big-brother type, was he? She had always wanted one of those types, and he wasn't trying to hit on her either, which made it an unexpected bonus.

The two never did feel the eyes that were steadily watching them, or the voice speaking, "I see- I see. Two Imagine Breakers, where only one can exist in this world. I wonder how it will turn out?"

The voice giggled softly to themselves, as they watched the two walk, "Not many can stand seeing a mirror image of personality stare right back at them. I wonder if they too will break down and fight-"

A baseball sailed through the air, and slammed into the back of Touma's head, bounced off to drop onto Touka's head, before rolling merrily away on the ground. "Ow-" they both whined, and the voice could feel a sweatdrop building up.

"Probably not."

* * *

_a/n: Well... we gots a villain. I don't have much to say other then that I hope you enjoyed it, and that I hope that everyone who reads leaves a review. _


	3. No Fourth Wall

Kanzaki Kaori had been surprised to receive a call from Laura Stewart, along with Stiyl Magnus to go back to Academy City after everything that had happened. To her further surprise, two other people were also infiltrating the city along with her.

That was why she held her cellphone as she stood in the same area as Academy City, from where she had been considering on visiting a certain boy to thank him once again for everything he had ever done.

Laura spoke only a few words, and Kanzaki instantly understood-

Portals between worlds could lead to mass confusion and mass destruction as people who met near doppleganger of themselves began to panic and attempt to destroy them. Thus, she needed to close the portal fast.

It didn't take along before she reached the location of the portal- and came face-to-face with a man. He was about her height, wearing a tank-top shirt that was cut off to show the navel. His pants were cut off at one side as well, and he had a sword much like hers. He had long hair tied back in a samurai ponytail.

Shy bypassed him calmly, heading straight for the portal to close it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh?" She bristled at his tone, similar to her own coolness. "What I do is none of your business- correct?"

Both hands stole to their swords.

Normally, Kanzaki would not of lost her temper so easily, however…

A soft voice, unheard by any, spoke, "When you meet your counterpart from another world, automatically you begin to get angry easily, or scared of each other- it's an automatic defense mechanism built into the body. However, if they fight here, they'll destroy the surrounding buildings-"

As if in response to this, two people stepped out of the shadows. Both were tall, red heads, with a tattoo beneath their eye and cigarette in their lips. They held a rune card. "Go crazy- I sealed off the area. Now then- as for you-"

The two redheads directed smiles that bespoke of getting ready to kill at each other. "I'll kill you!"

As one, they raised their hands, chanting the spells to summon a flaming sword. As one they charged each other, and clashed. The flame swords flared brilliantly, and shifted, changed twisted into a more whip-like object to face each other.

Kanzaki brought the still sheathed sword, and felt the wires around her thrum with life. Beyond, she could feel other wires also thrumming with the same kind of magical energy. What was he, a copycat? If so- the originals always beat the copy-cats!

He sword flashed out, the wires lashed out, and the man countered them as quickly as they had come, launching a strike of his own.

She blocked, the wires around her beginning to form a 3-d magic circle, when he brought one of his wires through the circle, disrupting it, and nearly causing it to backlash. She quickly changed he form of the spell circle to instead create a sort of healing magic- however it sent a refreshing wave of healing through everyone on the battlefield.

Stiyl leaped back, as the girl across from his charge. Both of them were grinning despite the life-threatening situation. It had been a long time since they had faced anyone that was their level and not so high or below them that they might as well not fight.

"One of the five elements which make up this world the great fire of genesis the light of blessing which nurtures life and the light of judgment which punishes evil. While it brings a gentle fortune, at the same time, it is the frosty misfortune which annihilates the cold darkness. It's name is fire. It's role, the sword! Show yourself by devouring my body and show your might!"

Two fiery creatures reared up into the night.

* * *

Komoe wandered the streets wondering what was going on with her students, especially that Kamijou Touma who had missed so many days of school he was going have to repeat a year unless he quickly got his work together.

With a sigh she entered the beer shop, ordered a beer and laid her head down on the table. Another voice spoke up beside her. "You look troubled."

"Of course I'm troubled. One of my students isn't being a good student at all and keeps getting in trouble."

"Oh, I understand how that feels. The same goes for one of my students- all of the guys of the class likes her, and she's now inured to the idea of romance because of all of their confessions and how they won't take no for an answer."

"Ha- my student has the opposite problem- no one will confess to him, and he somehow got it into his head he's really an unlucky person when it comes to girls and now he doesn't understand any young maidens hearts."

Two sighs filled the air, as they found themselves in complete and total agreement. The teacher turned to see a boy, who looked a lot like her, sitting there nursing a large bottle of sake.

"… Are we perhaps related?"

* * *

Yuriko was beginning to have a hard time of it. The calculations hadn't shut off completely like she'd half-thought it would, but it was slower right now- as if she were sharing the network with something or someone else.

The albino frowned silently, wondering where the person she was supposed to be tracking down was- It was the long-haired girl that had defeated her.

"AH! Accelerator! I found you! Misaka Misaka cries as she grabs you by the legs… Oh no, you're not Accelerator! Misaka Misaka panics as she looks around."

Yuriko stared down at the panicking child, one that looked a lot like her own Last Order, even if hers was actually guy, not a girl. The tiny child looked around frantically, and a snarl came from behind Yuriko. "Oi, you stupid little brat, how dare you run off on me?"

The click of a staff echoed in Yuriko's ears, as she slowly, ever so slowly turned around. Some part of her heart screamed out for her to stop, to not turn around, that if she turned around that she'd definitely not like the view.

But she turned around to see her own face reflected back at her.

The two albinos stared at each other, the blood draining from their faces.

"Brat, go and hide, now."

"Wha-"

FWHOOM!

Black wings, darker then night burst into existence. Yuriko jumped back a step as her own black wings shot out, hitting and clashing with the black wings of Accelerator. The child took a few steps back, eyes wide, and Yuriko's teeth ground. She wasn't about to fight where everyone else could get injured, but- but- nor could she continue looking at this face any longer.

With a scream of rage the two charged each other.

The shockwave nearly sent the child flying, and she found herself clutching onto a pillar for support. "Network- Network-" She chanted to herself, sending out electronic signals. There were ten Sisters left in Academy City- if they spread out, they should be able to locate Kamijou Touma easily. All they had to do is look for searching delinquents. Follow the delinquents, and you'd find one Kamijou Touma running for his life.

Her eyes closed, and the Sisters acknowledged their orders.

They would find Kamijou Touma, and he would put a stop to this battle between two people who both seemed so broken-hearted and hurt that it made the girls heart ache for both of them.

* * *

The long-haired boy walked serenely through the streets, dressed in shrine-guardian clothing. The odd clothing brought stares and whispers, which he ignored, simply walking towards the burger joint.

He got fifteen hamburgers, and walked to find a seat- and found a girl in shrine clothing sitting in one of the seat windows, head down, burger wrappers scattered about her- like him, she wore a cross around her neck.

"Hello."

"Hello."

With such a simple, and plain greeting, he sat across from her.

"This story I see bothered to remember us."

"Yes, but the question is, for how long?"

"For this chapter, and no more probably, seeming how we have no relevance to the plot."

Some people stole hurried glances over their shoulders at this seemingly inane conversation. Honestly, chapters? Stories? Were they breaking the fourth wall?

"And we're not going to fight either, are we?"

The boy and girl stared at each other, before the boy placed his hand down. "I challenge you to a burger eating contest."

…

"Agreed!"

_What kind of insane contests are going on? Surely this sort of thing isn't going on anywhere else, right?_

"Ah, it looks like our part is about to be over and done with-"

* * *

The two people with blue hair were arguing loudly over fetishes, what constituted as a fetish, and whether 'All fetishes are acceptable' was allowed.

Around them, green-faced casualties of those that had attempted to follow the conversation slumped in various poses. Anti-skill had answered, and the weak-stomached man had listened to only a minute before collapsing, feeling sick to the bottom of their stomach.

Only the hard-core anime otaku's remained standing, and even a few of them were showing signs of wavering. "Girls as used packages are fine, so long as it was because of tentacles, or because of a tragic past that you help them get over!" The blue-haired boy announced.

"Boys that are actually gay are within my range of acceptance as well. I'll go Yandere!"

"No, no, no, that isn't any good because they aren't interested in you back."

The girl frowned, before saying, "He's a guy, and therefore in the range of my acceptability level."

The guy flinched, crying out, "Oh no! How am I supposed to refute such perfect logic?"

Those on the ground had a collective thought of, _No, there are so many different ways you could've refuted that!_

A loud boom sound, and blackness caught their attention. The blue-haired couple glanced at each other, and nodded. "We'll settle it like this! We'll find the contestants- if there is anything that you cannot find acceptable, it'll be your loss."

The two took off in a dead run, leaving behind the collapsed people on the ground. An ambulance that hadn't dared get too close (They had only been trained for dodging bullets, not for withstanding such a wide range of fetishes) finally came to help the people.

The two blue-haired people didn't really notice as they raced for where two pairs of large black wings clashed, seemed to meld, and then pull apart.

They burst into the scene at the same time- but their eyes were instantly drawn to the small girl watching them. "LOLI!" They screamed at the same time, drawing the two contestants attention. "ACCEPTABLE!"

"AHOGE!" The guy shouted next, interrupting the girl.

The girl frowned, before shouting- "WEARING PRETTY COLORS!"

The two advanced on the small, beginning to tremble girl.

The pavement before them burst into a thousand pieces, as a black-winged angel of death descended from the sky.

The two blue-heads looked at each other. "Skinny, white-haired, red-eyed, tight jeans, black winged, fell from the sky-"

The two were both beginning to drool Accelerator realized, as Yuriko took a step back, heading for the little child. "They're both within acceptable range!" They cheered, and began to advance, with a slightly crazed look in their eyes.

Accelerator knew he had several choices. He could kill them. Or he could completely and utterly _destroy_ them for daring to utter fetishes around Last Order.

The last option sounded the best.

Black wings swung, heading for the two.

Lithely and like cats they jumped out of the way, and took the same stance, one hand on hip, leaning forward slightly, finger wagging slightly as they said in unison, "Na, ah, ah~ Nyaa, this is our debut, and you make perfect material."

Accelerator, the strongest Esper of Academy City took a step back.

Last Order pipped up, "What are you talking about, Misaka Misaka asks-"

The two blue-heads drowned her out to say, "She's speaking in third-person! Accepted fetish!"

A vein throbbed on Accelerators forehead. "You- I'm going to destroy you!"

The two took off running as black wings shot after them, attempting to destroy them. Yuriko smirked as she turned to join him. The little Loli that remained firmly sandwiched between the two of them only watched in some slight confusion, while sending out a note that Kamijou Touma was no longer needed. Probably.

…Never mind that, please bring Kamijou Touma back as quickly as possible.

* * *

_a/n: Third chapter, and I have no idea what I was smoking when I wrote it. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed, and I ask that you please leave a review behind after reading!_


	4. Touma vs Makoto, Touka vs Mikoto

It was really not a good day for Tsuchimikado Motoka. No matter which way she turned, walked, ran, or any other way of transportation, she wasn't getting any closer to the people that had vanished across the portal- in fact, they seemed to be spreading out and moving about.

The girl sighed as she stepped up to a vending machine. Pretty soon she was going have to start using magic to locate them, but she didn't want too when she didn't know the rules of magic in this universe.

"Why hello there- I suppose you're my counterpart from the world across the portal? Any particular reason why you're here instead of closing the portal?"

The girl turned, sunglasses glinting in the light to see a mirror image of herself- if she were male. "Yes- We lost a few people that managed to wander across the border and I'm looking for them along with Yuriko."

"Yuriko?"

A grin appeared on Motoka's face, but she kept silent. The male seemed to have no problem with that as he pointed off to one side. "We can set up a magic circle, and locate where each one is."

It took a good ten minutes to set the circle up and make it completely right. It took another moment to steel themselves for the pain.

The magic circle hummed to life, a steady glow arising from it.

"NO WAAAAAYYYYY!"

The double scream of disbelief soared into the air, as quite a few small pebbles rolled to life, traveling different paths through the city- one near the riverbank, another heading for the opposite side of the city, one slightly nearby, one running through the city with another chasing-

There were quite a few of these pebbles rolling about and Motoka wondered bitterly if the portal had jumped to main street or something. Two pebbles were rolling around the portal- Kanzaki and Magnus probably.

"Oh boy, we got our work cut out for us. I wonder if I should call Kami-yan, knowing his luck he's probably run into one of them."

* * *

"A-choo! Geeze, is someone talking about me?" Touma sniffled slightly as he settled into his seat comfortably. Beside him, Touka sat serenely, with the little kid next to her kneeling on the seat and looking out the window at the flashing scenery.

They looked like a family, a fact that both were uncomfortably aware of. Touka sighed as she pulled out another tissue, and offered it to him. With mumbled thanks he took it, both avoiding each other's eyes.

This sort of thing- was much too awkward! Normally people who could talk a hippo into insanity surrounded them and they only had to do damage control, or weirdoes surrounded them. Trying to speak with someone who was completely normal was almost out of his or her experience range.

"So- do you watch anime?" Touma tentatively sailed the question out into the open, and Touka eagerly lept on the chance.

Somehow the two managed to keep the chatter going, with the kid interrupting every now and then to throw in his own comment.

Touma and Touka found their tastes eerily similar- they liked the same genres, the same characters- it was like talking to a complete mirror image of oneself.

Conversation threatened to fizzle out unless they found a new subject and fast. "So- Onee-san, Onii-san, why were you two in that back alleyway?"

"Hiding." The automatic response required no thought.

"Why?"

"Let's just say there were some rather scary people after us."

"Oh." The kid paused here, head tilting to one side in a confused gesture. "Do you two get chased by scary people a lot?"

"Yes-" They both looked away, remembering the various troubles they had been through, the fights they had won, and the hospital room that practically had their name written all over it.

Touma looked over at Touka, saying, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Agreed-"

The train began to slow, and both looked up as their stop was called. The kid bounced off, running for the doors with the two others following him from behind.

It didn't take long before they were in front of Cypress Park. "Here's home!" The kid said, smiling brilliantly up at the two as he said, "Thank you-"

"ASHITABA! There you are! We were so worried for you when you disappeared, where on earth did you go?" The man scolded the child soundly, as Touma and Touka watched on, slight smile on their faces.

Touka's head tilted towards Touma as she said softly, "We probably should get going."

Touma nodded. It was a long walk back after all-

BAM!

The two flinched backwards as a girl jumped down in front of them, breathing heavily. A monotone voice with a peculiar speech pattern spoke, "I have found you, Misaka states while informing the network."

"Eh- Misaka Imuto?"

Touka smothered the feeling that this speech pattern was really, really familiar. The girl straightened from her crouch, as the child and the man scolding him looked slightly shocked.

A moment later, Touka spotted the reason why- a large gun was slung across the girls shoulders, and she was making absolutely no effort to hide it. _This- why does this feel like I'm looking at a girl version of Makoto's Brothers?_

"Erm- Misaka- Wh-why are you carrying that gun?"

"This gun Misaka asks rhetorically while gesturing to it. This is here currently because the Network administrator requested your help Misaka explains calmly. Now that I have located you, we will take the bus back-"

"I don't have any money left, and I can't just leave Touka here stranded-"

The girls head turned slowly to her, and Touka blinked as she could've sworn that those expressionless eyes narrowed slightly. "I see, Misaka says while debating on whether to make a point. She can come along as well-" Misaka grabbed Touma by the arm, and started pulling him off.

Touka felt like she was a third wheel- no, scratch that, she felt like a jealous girlfriend was glaring at her. Which probably wasn't too far from the truth.

It was a rather uncomfortable silence as the girl paid for all of them, and got them settled onto the bus. It was one of the automatic buses with no drivers, and it currently had no other passengers. Touma was looking frantically from her, to Misaka as if trying to figure out what was going on.

She was actually wondering that herself.

"So- Misaka, correct?"

The girl expressionlessly nodded, and Touka was struck once again by just how eerily similar she was to Makoto's clones that had come to her for help. "Where are we going-"

The automatic bus unexpectedly stopped, as the electrical system in the front began to go haywire. Touma and Touka quickly backed away as Misaka Imuto spoke, "Ah, there is the feeling of the original-"

"HRAAAAGHH! TAKE THIS!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, COPYING ME?"

"THAT'S THE QUESTION I OUGHT TO BE ASKING _YOU_!"

A large bolt of electricity thundered bast the buses windows. Touma and Touka instinctively ducked out of sight, whispering to themselves, "It's her/him! I can't believe it- SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

The wail went into the air.

Beneath the bus on the high-way, two sets of ears twitched as 'A Certain Idiot' radar turned on. As one, the two electro-masters looked up to where they had heard the beautiful words of 'Such misfortune!' that hareled the arrival of a certain person.

Electricty crackled through the air as Misaka jumped onto the steel railings, running up them to find the boy before he could disappear.

Not about to be outdone, Makoto followed closely behind, bringing up his iron-sand sword up.

The bus was cut in half, and two trembling figures were revealed. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the idiot-" Misaka said, smirking as electricity flowed like a continuously moving second skin.

The smirk quickly disappeared into a furious red blush as Misaka pointed a trembling finger at the figure crouching next to him. "Wh-Who the heck is that, huh?"

A shining white beam burst from her forehead, heading directly for him. Automatically his right hand rose, blocking the attack.

Touma blinked, surprised as he felt a elbow bump against him, and his head turned slightly to see Touka thrusting out her own right arm to stop the beam.

The resulting bump however sent both hands careening out of the way, and the beam slammed into the wrecked bus frame. Both flinched back as the electricity shone brilliantly for a moment, before disappearing.

"Erm- well that-" The two looked at each other in surprise, as Misaka stared at their touching elbows- just a little further and they could be considered intertwined…

"Y-You stupid idiot!"

Another bolt of lightning came down on Touma as Misaka strove to hide her furiously red blush. Across from her, Makoto pointed at Touka. "W-What are you doing Touka! I thought you said you weren't interested in any guys-"

"I'M NOT! WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER I TALK TO A GUY, EVERYONE AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVES I'M TRYING TO BUILD A HAREM, HUH?" Touka roared this as she scrambled to her feet pointing a jabbing, condemning finger at the boy across from her. "Besides! It's not like you can talk! You've been nothing but a nuisance to me from Day One! Always demanding a fight, even making me stay up late in the evening demanding the fights- JUST WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?"

Touma slowly stood as Touka yelled at Makoto, and Makoto turned to Touma, and completely ignored every last word that Touka had just said. "Oi, you! I'll fight you for Touka."

"Huh? Wait, what- oi, this isn't some sort of shojo manga you know, these sorts of things don't happen in real life-"

Thwoosh!

The iron sword whistled past his cheek. Touka took an automatic step forward, as Touma rapidly took two steps back. Makoto dug one foot into the ground, body tensing as he glowered at this man across from him.

The man wasn't about to allow anyone to defeat him- he opened his hand, allowing the iron-sand to be carried off by the wind. "You there- what level are you?"

"Level zero."

"WHAT?" Mikoto practically screamed the word as she pointed at him, "That's impossible, absolutely impossible-"

"Oi, biribiri, who is this guy?"

Mikoto twitched at the nickname, head coming down. "Hu, hu, hu- MY NAME IS MISAKA MIKOTO YOU MORON! STOP CALLING ME BIRIBIRI!"

Another lance of electricity shot out from her-

Touka took one-step sideways, right hand rising.

Piang!

The sharp sound hung on the air as the electricity disappeared. Despite herself, Misaka's eyes widened and she took one step back. Did this girl have the same abilities as that moron? Was it possible? "You- You have some pretty interesting abilities- how about a fight?"

"What?"

Touma and Touka slowly backed up, until they were back to back, attempting to calm down the person across from them. "Now look here, this isn't what it looks like. This Kamijou Touma was not on a date with her- we were simply returning a child-"

A large vein on Makoto's forehead appeared. Mikoto's hands clenched. Touka nodded along to the words, not able to see what was wrong with them.

"And then Misaka Imuto came to us and asked me for help and so I agreed-"

Pulse. Mikoto's hands were so tight that she'd soon start drawing blood.

"I decided to go help her out-"

"I see-" Both of the Tokiwadai students brought their hands above their heads, electricity forming into a ball. "-So you were two-timing, huh?"

"Eh?"

Confused, and desperate, Touma and Touka turned to each other to hiss, "I don't see where it wounded like 'two-timing' did you?"

"No, no, it sounded like a reasonable explanation to me."

Confused by the unreasonable demands, Touma asked of the two middle-scholars, "Just what sort of scum do you take me for, huh?"

"The worst kind EVER!"

The lightning lanced down to where he stood, and Touma lifted his hand. The lightning slammed into it, before vanishing. Touka jumped over the edge of the bus onto the ground, facing Mikoto. Mikoto smirked as she raised her hand.

Makoto stared narrow-eyed at Touma, before jumping up into the air, using the electricity to stick to the iron beams of the bridge. Touma backpedaled furiously as lightning was shot at him, before turning around to run for the edge of the bridge.

"Don't even think about running!"

* * *

_a/n: Yay for crappy fight scenes! You all ready for this?_


	5. Super Sock Drift Race!

Male!Aogami ducked as a black wing shot overhead, and Female!Aogami jumped. The wings slammed into a (thankfully) abandoned building, and slowly it began to crumble, filling the air with loud noises.

Male!Aogami turned to his female counterpart, stating, "Overpowered people! This looks like we're the villains in a love-event!"

"Which love-event are we talking about?" Female asked, taking two steps to the side to allow a branch of the black wing to slam into the ground beside her. "There are several that could fit into this category-"

"SHUT UP!" Accelerator roared from right behind them, and the street pavement rippled from the force of the blow that was dealt.

A veritable hailstorm of dirt, pavement, and stones rained down on the two runners. Ducking, dodging and weaving, the two managed to escape with barely a scratch at all. Accelerator frowned behind them.

This wasn't right- what level were these two that they could dodge his strikes without being hurt at all? Not even that hero could manage such a feat. The albino girl beside him wings flicked out, attempting to create a trapping solution.

In a display of agility, both of the blue-haired perverts stepped onto a convenient platform and jumped through the many-branched wings. **without a single scratch**.

"Are these two people normal?" Yuriko muttered under her breath, her wings twisting and changing to blanket the ground. The male bluehead caught onto a overhanging sign, as the female caught onto his legs, and they dangled a mere millimeter above the black tide roiling beneath them.

"Yt another love-comedy situation!" They cheered at the exact same time, before the girl swung off, landing beyond the wings onto a safe zone. The male landed beside her in a second.

"Waa, I wonder if they raised the flags with each other yet."

"Isn't this a flag raising event?"

"No, no, of course not! This is a minigame!"

The female and male looked at each other with a slightly confused expression. After meeting someone with practically the same mind as them they weren't expecting to be disagreeing.

"Hmm, something seems wrong here, don't you agree?"

The two nodded at the same time, and then grinned, delighted that once more they were in sync. Accelerator wing swung out at head level, and the two ducked to see Yuriko's wing doming in the opposite direction-

Accelerator was fairly certain he had managed to get them at last. There was no way on earth that the two would b able to avoid such a blow-

"That was close!"

Two heads swung to look in growing suspicion at the two blue heads standing in the one safe area of the next mile.

Around them was pure destruction. Buildings were crumbled, roads torn up, billboards hanging by mere threads- nowhere was a single person hurt however.

Accelerator tch'ed softly as one wing flew up to strike at the two insanely grinning fools. Last Order tugged on Yuriko's hand, asking cautiously, "Who are you?"

"Yuriko." She snapped back in impatience.

Last Order blinked as a message was sent back to her that Kamijou Touma was currently delayed, and would not be able to come to her aid for another few hours.

Aogami pointed at the girl as he shouted, "Nurses!"

"Doctors!"

"Secretaries!"

"CEO's!"

"Loli!"

"Shota!"

"Shota!"

"Loli!"

_Just how insane and deprived are these two?_

Still shouting fetishes and dodging black wings, the two escaped further into the city.

* * *

Kaori breathed raggedly for breath. She had called upon her abilities as a saint, but she still wasn't getting the upperhand on this man. At least she had stopped several people from wandering through the portal…

Stiyl skidded backwards as the flaming golem behind him roared its fury to the heavens. The similar golem across from him behind the girl also roared is response.

Thirty meters.

That was the distance, and Kanzaki estimated she had three more hits left in her before her body buckled in to the strain of keeping up the Saint mode. But the person across from her couldn't be that much different-

Bzzz

Bzzzz

All four contestants comically blinked as a cellphone began to buzz, completely breaking the tension. Kanzaki slowly fumbled to bring it out, keeping a wary eye on the person across from her.

According to the person who had set up her cellphone for her, it was Tsuchimikado. Quickly she flipped it open, hesitantly asking, "Hello?"

The man across from her slowly lowered his sword, as he watched her keenly as a hawk.

"Nee-san! You can't close the portal! There are people from the other side wandering around Academy City! If you close it they'll get stuck. I'm trying to contact Kami-yan right now and get him to help look- WAA! A-Aogami? What are you doing here? Wait- what are those-!"

The phone cut off with chilling suddenness.

Kanzaki snapped the phone shut. "Stiyl, we will desist in closing the portal for now- apparently people have wandered across the portal- including you, correct?"

Kanzaki looked directly at the man across from her, as he nodded quietly. "My name is Kanzaki Kaoru."

"I am Kanzaki Kaori." Kaori stared at Kaoru, for a few moments, before asking, "Are you a Saint, leader of the Amakusa-sect."

"As am I."

The two counterparts looked carefully at each other, as Stiyl realized what this meant. "Wait- so are you me from this other world?"

The girls lip curled as she haughtily tossed her red hair back. "I make a very ugly guy."

"Shut it you! You make a terrible girl!"

The two brought their hands up, ready to burn the other into a crisp.

* * *

Hinegami sat back, holding back a burp as she stared at the pile of wrappers before her. She no longer had any money whatsoever. The guy across from her probably wasn't much better off.

"Do you concede defeat?" Hinegami questioned serenely. Surrounding the two were several patrons of the burgershop taking pictures or recording this to show to their friends.

The boy across from her took a deep breath. "Of course no- Isn't that my class?"

At that confused question, Hinegami turned around to see her entire class walking along with another class, heading for some odd destination. "It is. Shall we go to join them?"

Together they stood, and drifted after the class.

This class never had been a 'normal' class. They were incredibly easy-going and loose- they liked holding Sock Drifting Races in the hallways, and trying to avoid Fukiyose. All of Touma's antics were met with a simple, 'Oh, it's that Kamijou's luck again-'. All scuffles between the members of Baka Delta Trio were watched avidly and cheered on.

They were well known through school for being the only class to be able to completely derail school into a conversation about whether or not 'Bumping into someone with Toast in their mouth' was still considered a love event.

And that was why, this easy-going class had decided that quite obviously their Sock Drifting Race down the hallways was not yet completed and they needed to complete it.

And that was why, when they were joined up with a class that seemed to have the exact same idea as them, they immediately decided to have a competition.

And that is how they found themselves before school once more.

Talking, laughing, and giggling they quickly removed their shoes, and the fastest racers lined up at the beginning of the hallway. Hinegami watched in amusement as each of the students jockeyed for the position of first.

"Ehm!"

Two voices spoke in unison.

The two classes slowly turned, dreading what they just heard. One woman, her hair hanging over her forehead, and one man, his hair also on his forehead stood there, arms -It's the attack of the Fukiyose! The iron-wall Fukiyose are here!" The students chanted, before looking scared. "WAA! They're both Fukiyose! It's an attack of the Fukiyose Siblings!"

Seirei's eyes closed, before opening again. As one, girl and boy pulled out a hair clip, and fixed their bangs out of their faces. The boy took charge first, pointing to his class. "All those from my class line up! We'll be organizing you according to grades! Each of you will race once and we'll time it to decide who's fastest!"

One of the students knelt down, hands clasped together, and began to pray. "Lord, please help us this day to survive two Fukiyose. Amen."

"AMEN!" The roar shook the windows, startling teachers still in the building.

Then, the match was on.

With a mighty roar, each class was determined to prove that they were the absolute best!

* * *

Index was beginning to get really impatient. Touma hadn't come home. Touma hadn't been home for several hours, and it was beginning to get late, and she wanted to eat.

The small calico cat meowed pitifully as it pawed at her nun clothing. "Mmm, Sphinx, Touma isn't home yet. I wonder what he could be doing-"

She frowned at Sphinx, before standing. If Touma was taking so long, she'd just have to go and find him, wouldn't she?

With that thought firmly in mind, the girl left the room- only to run into Maika.

"Oh, Index! Is Touma not back yet?"

"No. Stupid Touma, I bet he's getting in trouble somewhere right now."

Index pouted, cheeks puffing out in her anger, as Maika could feel a sweatdrop building up. It wasn't that Index was wrong… "That reminds me- my brother isn't back yet either. I wonder what he could be doing." Maika frowned as the cleaning bot she was on turned in one place.

"Ah, that's right, I need to drop off the food so that way my stupid brother doesn't starve to death while I'm staying at the dorms for the next couple of nights."

The cleaning robot made its way to the doorway, and Index set off into the city with the express intent of finding and dragging Touma back.

* * *

A blond haired man reclined in his seat, watching the proceedings carefully.

It had been an impulsive idea to open the portal and to find what would happen if those from two worlds mixed- it had only been talked about 'In Theory' because none had the ability to hop between dimensions/worlds.

"Enjoying yourself?"

A womans soft voice spoke, and he turned to find his other-world counterpart.

"The reactions between people are quite interesting. I'd have to say, based on what we've seen so far, the more at peace you are with yourself and who you are, the more likely you are able to stand close contact with the other. Some people however-"

Fingers flicked to one screen where Touma's class was having their Sock Drifting Race. "Some people are just too oblivious to this sort of thing."

Another flick of the fingers indicated to where a certain boy and a certain girl were battling.

"And then there are some- that I think may know more then what they let on."

Eyes drifted to where Tsuchimikado and Aogami's were currently running through the streets.

Behind the Aogami couple was a wake of destruction- that was going to cost the city dearly to pay for all of it.

* * *

_a/n: I've been re-reading the light novels, and I think I adore the delta trio's class. They're all so amusing!_


	6. Hearding Cats

Touma rolled to one side as a thunderbolt slammed down into the ground. Iron sand was slowly beginning to turn and spin into a hurricane. Touma stared at it aghast by the spectacle playing out before him.

Touka jumped backwards as a lightning bolt slammed into the area before her. Her right hand clenched. "I've always gone all out against that idiot over there, but he never fought back. So tell me- are you going to be any better?"

Mikoto's words hung in the air, and Touka's teeth ground together. "Don't make me laugh. You think this is a game? You're standing in-between me and someone who's asked for help."

Blue eyes lifted up and bored into Mikoto's, the air sparking with the intensity of that stare. "Get out of my way."

Mikoto took an automatic step back, as Touka took one step forward, right hand rising. "D-Don't mess with me!"

Thunder sprouted from her forehead, aiming directly for Touka. Touka batted it aside almost casually with the back of her right hand. Touma jumped backwards so they stood back-to-back.

The two Kamijou's raised their right hands. "Normally I don't go full out, but a certain someone asked for help, and I can't be stopped here." They spoke in unison, their eyes burning with the same intensity. The two middle school students took a step back, watching them warily. "So move!"

Makoto's teeth ground as he brought his hand up. Ironsand formed to create a sword. "I will not, until you've fought me. I don't approve of your relationship with Touka."

Mikoto pointed her own jabbing finger at the girl. "I'm not about to let the chance for a good fight pass me by! Besides, you can't be in that much of a hurry-"

The ironsand that had been spinning in a hurricane flew down on the two highschoolers. Touma and Touka looked at each other, and then back to their respective people. They were just going have to fight, now weren't they?

Touma took three steps forward, right hand reaching out to brush the iron sand sword. It disintegrated almost immediately. Makoto swore as he jumped backwards, electricity catching onto the ironsand being blown by the wind to create a spinning ball. A branch shot down towards him- Touma quickly backhanded it, and took another step forward.

One more step, and he'd be within range-

Makoto jumped into the air, calling all of his electrical abilities. He couldn't really fly, but he could float for a few seconds so long as he properly magnetized himself in reverse polarity to the Earths gravity.

Touma's right hand clenched as hard as it could go, and he took a few running steps forward.

Mikoto's eyes flashed briefly to where the idiot and the mysterious student in the boys school fought. After quickly determining that the idiot was going to win and wouldn't need her help, she tuned back to the girl that had been with him.

The girls long hair was getting tangled from the wind, and the iron sand partially obscured her face.

She took one step forward, and Mikoto decided that pulling out her game token was probably not the best idea. After all, if she really didn't want to do a lot of damage to the city, she just wanted to teach this girl a lesson!

Quickly she held out her hand, iron sand forming into a whip. She twirled it expertly, the iron sand flying out towards the girls legs.

Touka didn't really need to think about it in order to block- this sort of thing was familiar to her after fighting Makoto so many times. The ironsand was forcibly reverted back to its free-floating form, and Mikoto took a step back.

Touka didn't quite smirk- quite. There was the barest hint as she charged, right hand flying out-

SLAP!

The sharp crack of palm meeting flesh contrasted with the dull thud of a fist connecting with a cheek. Makoto went flying backwards, and landed onto the ground with a dull thud.

Mikoto dizzily stared off into the distance, not quite down. Touka twirled, right hand coming up once more, absolutely determined to put the other to sleep.

* * *

Misaka Imouto stood on the bridge calmly, completely forgotten about as Touma walked over to Touka, checking to see if she was alright. Touka airily brushed off her concerns while patting down her hair, attempting to dislodge the iron sand that had gotten tangled up within it.

Across the network, she could feel inquiries being sent to her asking 'What is that boy doing now?' in curiosity and hopeful love-

Imouto didn't have the heart to tell them that Kamijou Touma had probably found his soul mate-

No… she wasn't going to accept this either. Except instead of following Onee-san's direction, she would instead take the path of a true woman!

With that thought firmly in mind, she jumped off the bridge to go grab his arm, and firmly squash it against her chest, just to prove that she indeed did have one.

Unlike Onee-san.

* * *

Yuriko collapsed into a chair, panting for breath. It took a lot of energy to make those black wings that she had been wrecking destruction to the city with, and she was now exhausted.

Not _once_ had she managed to hit the blue-haired perverts, though she had to pull back momentarily when she saw Tsuchimikado running with the blue-heads shouting at them. Then she really had pulled out stoppers, quite determined to pay him back for all the perverted comments he had made about Last Order while he was under her care.

At least the albino boy sitting in a chair across from her wasn't much better off from the looks of it. The little kid looked between her and him.

With a snarl she surged to her feet. "Goodbye. I still have to locate several people."

"You're searching for somebody Misaka Misaka asks while looking at you eagerly."

The albino boy instantly chopped her on the top of her head. "It isn't our problem brat. Come on, Yomikawa is waiting for us."

The girl flailed as the boy stood shouting, "But- But- we ought to help Misaka Misaka cries, while earnestly begging you to please reconsider-"

"No-"

Ring! Ring!

The two albinos reached for their cellphones, and flipped them open. "What now?"

"Oh, Yuriko! I'm glad to see you decided to stop chasing us~ Nya. So- I've redone who you need to go after. Apparently a huge group of people wandered across the dimensions, and into a Certain High School. Go into there and clean them out please? Before they scatter? Also- another one managed to make their way to a Sake shop, where they're drinking their guts out, go fetch that one as well please."

Locations were quickly rattled off as Yuriko listened patiently.

She could hear the other albino raging into his phone about there was no way he was going to do such a stupid thing, and that he had Last Order with him, and if she came to any harm, it was all being heaped down on his head.

Yuriko snapped the cellphone shut and began to walk off in the general direction. It would be easy enough to find the school. Her guardian worked there as a teacher. That made it much, much easier to go to, and since it was in the area-

A boy with spiky black hair bumped into her, spilling a drink. "AH! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you alright Miss?"

As the boy frantically moped up the spilt drink, Yuriko stood there, slightly surprised. Redirection no longer worked- she knew that. But this was the first time that an accident over spilt drinks happened-

"It's fine." She replied, brushing it off unconcernedly. "I have to keep on going anyways-"

"Oh?"

Yuriko blinked as she spotted what looked like a hairtie on his wrist like some sort of bracelet. She shook her head, dismissing it. "Ah, wait! The flower in your hair- it's ruined. I-I can replace it- Just wait one second!"

The boy ran off without waiting for a reply.

_Why- Why does he sound so much like that __**girl**__?_ A slightly red blush crept onto her cheeks as she furiously shook her head. He didn't sound too much like her!

"Are you alright? Your face is all red-"

Yuriko flinched back, as without noticing, the boy returned, holding a flower that looked similar to hers, with just a touch of pink in the center. His hand reached out to lay flat against her forehead, checking for a fever, even as one hand replaced the flower.

The red blush deepened, and he frowned. "That's odd, you don't feel like you have a fever."

As he talked, Yuriko's eyes desperately looked about for some sort of distraction from this embarrassing, over-caring boy-

All the blood drained out of her face as she spotted _that girl_ the **hero** that had defeated her slowly walk towards them, looking around curiously.

Phwhoom!

A spurt of energy she didn't know existed revitalized her as black wings formed and lashed out, the shock wave blowing nearby spectators away. The boy looked stunned, as he babbled, "Black wings? But, since when- how-"

"TOUMA!" The hero instantly reached out for the boy, and pulled him back from the black wings. Something within Yuriko twitched and snarled. Yuriko responded by bringing both black wings down, heading directly for the two of them.

Both raised their hands, blocking the wings. Not dodging, _blocking_. Yuriko stomped one petite foot, wishing she could turn on her choker- she didn't dare however with the Brother's calculations so much more strained in this world.

"DISAPPEAR!" She shouted at the hero, pouring all of her feelings into those black wings.

Touma grabbed the girl around the waist, and pulled her backwards, vanishing into the dark back alleyways with astonishing ease. The hero looked over her shoulder once, asking what was wrong with her eyes.

Yuriko wings shot towards the two, and the hero tackled the boy, and sent them rolling out of sight. Panting for breath, Yuriko stood there, feeling triumphant for managing to drive that Hero away.

And that was when Yuriko remembered that they both were currently not in their world, and that she had just chased away one of her targets.

Swearing up a storm that even a seasoned sailor would blush at, she pulled out her cellphone. It was answered after the second ring- "YOU TAKE CARE OF KAMIJOU TOUKA! I CAN'T STAND HER FACE!"

SNAP!

The cellphone was shut off on the confused question being asked, and Yuriko stormed towards the school.

* * *

Fukiyose Seirei was watching the racing competition avidly from the chair atop a desk that someone had set up for her, claiming all they needed was a swimsuit and it would be perfect.

Her counterpart, Fukiyose Seisuke was avidly watching the race form the very end, making certain that none used their abilities and marking off time with a stop-watch.

Neither noticed the girl standing in the courtyard, looking through the windows in sheer bemusement at the race going on.

"Competitors number three and twenty, step up!"

"MY SPECIAL DRIFT OF ATATATATATATAT SHALL WIN!"

"MY SPECIAL DRIFT OF BREAK THE HEAVENS WILL DEFEAT YOU!"

With a roar the two took off.

Yuriko, outside, could only twitch at the incredibly **corny** lines. "It's too bad Kamijou isn't here! Or Aogami and Tsuchimikado! Where are the Delta Force Trio anyways?"

The confused person that had spoken up looked around- only to find a girl standing in the courtyard.

One of the males instantly leaned out the window, letting out a cat whistle, "Hey! Pretty girl! Wanna go out on a date with me?"

"Ah, stuff it! She definitely wants to go out on a date with me!"

The guys were growing louder and louder as they began to cat-fight over who would get to ask her out first-

BAM! All heads turned as Seisuke slammed his clipboard against the wall, creating an echoing sound. "That's enough."

Yuriko sighed in relief that there was at least one sane person in the room, as Seisuke and Seirei whispered to each other for a moment, before announcing, "The boy who is the fastest Sock Speed Drifting gets the first priority of asking her out."

"WHOAH! SIGN ME UP!"

"WHO WOULD AGREE TO THAT? ANYWAYS, I WAS SENT TO FIND YOU GUYS!"

"Find us?" Curious eyes turned to her, as various people wondered, "Who sent you?"

"Komoe."

"AH? SENSEI SENT YOU TO FIND US? REALLY? WE SHOULD GO AND HAVE SUKIYAKI!"

"No!" Seirei instantly stated loudly, "We've already had Sukiyaki! This time it's definitely Sukiyaki."

A celebratory cheer drifted through the two classes as they, not waiting to go out the regular entrance, began to jump out the window.

Yuriko wondered if the English proverb of 'Hearding Cats' was a proper way of describing this.

* * *

_a/n: Well, here's my next chapter, as promised!_


	7. The Gathering

Stily Magnus grunted as he hauled a boy wearing an a school uniform across the portal. Beside him, Kanzaki and the other two 'counterparts' also held others that had managed to cross the portal.

The second they stepped through however, they froze as a invisible force rippled, and the portal began to warp. Kaori and Stiyl turned, to see a flash of blue, and they charged towards the portal, attempting to reopen it, desperate that they would be stuck here.

A voice that none recognized spoke, "Don't worry~ The portal will reopen in a few hours! Until then, you guys can stay over there and not get everyone involved in this. Honestly, so many people wandered through who weren't supposed too."

"Now, now, we knew this would happen." A second mysterious voice broke in, and they could hear the grin in that statement.

"That we did!"

The portal closed on the two voices agreeing with each other, and Stiyl swore as he crouched down at the base of where the portal once stood.

The complicated rune signatures were still intact. The only problem was, there was no power, or another power was disrupting the portal to keep it from opening.

"Stiyl? Will it open?"

"Tch, not unless we can overpower whatever's blocking it. Which will take a lot of power. Something I suggest we don't do unless we're really desperate considering the backlash."

Stiyl climbed to his feet and snarled, "The power disrupting the portal will eventually evaporate. We'll have to wait until then."

The flame mage swore softly under his breath once more- he had been planning on contacting that idiot and coming up with an extra, bogus reason to spend more time with Index. "What's going on here?"

The flame magicians turned at the young, boyish sounding voice. There a young man with silvery hair and dressed in white priests clothing embroidered with gold stood. "Where's Touka? I wanted to eat, and she's not here to feed me." The boy pouted, cheeks puffing out adorably.

"Hmmm? Magnus- correct? Do you know where Touma is? I wanted to meet him, and I was wondering if he had gotten caught up in this portal." This voice came from a silvery haired nun, with a small cat perched on her head.

Instantly the two flame magicians lept on the chance. "Index, why don't we go to a restaurant? I'll pay for your food there, and I'll tell you what's going on."

The two Index's looked at each other, slightly puzzled before nodding. Kanzaki had a gentle smile on their faces as they followed their respective duo, for a moment, just a single moment, remembering the years in which they had been together.

* * *

Yuriko limped along the street, dodging torn up chunks of concrete and trying to ignore the excited talk chattering behind her. "Uwwaa! Look at the street!"

"It's going to be a mess to clean up!"

"But, if they don't clean it up, it'll look like we're in a video game or a movie post-apocalyptic!"

"Ahh! That's so cool!"

The class behind her chattered noisily, making Yuriko really wish she could just pull out her black wings and smash them into the ground. Not only would it quiet the place down by several decibels, but probably rid the world of several idiots.

Grinding her teeth together, she desperately tried to ignore it.

Ignore it.

Ignore it.

Ignore it-

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP BACK THERE?"

The class quieted down, looking at each other, before one of the students pointed ahead of them, "Look! It's Komoe-sensei!"

With a loud cheer, the students bypassed Yuriko completely, surrounding the two small people- Yuriko twitched as she recognized the little kid that she and Last Order had met with Yomikawa. The one that claimed it was a teacher- "Komoe-sensei! You didn't tell us you had a sibling! Aww, both of you are so cute together."

The students loudly cooed over the two teachers, giggling and laughing- the girls were quickly surrounding the male teacher, as the boys drooled over the female.

The female flailed among her students, speaking quickly, "O-Oh No! Why are all of you here? Ahhh- no! Don't look at what sensei drinks! Wait, where are we going?"

"NABE! NABE!"

The chant rose into the heavens as they began marching off, when Yuriko had to ask, "Do you even know a place that sells it?"

Silence descended as one kids head tilted to one side. "It has to be served with maid uniforms."

"No! No! Not maid, but cheerleaders!"

"But- We should have oden this time, not Nabe."

"Oden sounds good!"

"Once again someone has used ventriloquism! Whoever's doing it, come on out!"

"But, if we're going to eat, then we definitely need that trio, right? Besides, if we're talking about uniforms, then that Aogami has an entire list of shops in order of the uniforms they wear."

"And if we compare to Tsuchimikado's list of the shops with the best selection of wine-"

Seirei cleared her throat authoritatively next to the student that had murmured about the alcohol, and the student whistled innocently as they turned away. She held up a clipboard. "Now. We will solve this efficiently. Who has the Idiot Delta Force's cell phone numbers?"

The girls from her class all looked at each other, looking slightly disappointed. They had been trying to get Kamijou's phone number for the longest time, but none had actually managed to get it yet. And nobody, absolutely nobody wanted Aogami's. Tsuchimikado was a bit… also out there.

"Nobody?" Seirei frowned. "Next time we meet up with them, we'll get their phone numbers. Ah- wait, Komoe-sensei?"

"No, no, I only know where his house is- the phone numbers are on the record, but its not like I've memorized it or anything-"

Both of the teachers instantly protested their innocence and Seisuke pointed down the road to two fast approaching figures. "Isn't that Kamijou right there?"

* * *

Accelerator limped along the street- He had sent one of the Imutou and Last Order to take Mikoto back to the dorms. No sooner had he done so, then four people, glowering at each other and smelling faintly of smoke arrived claiming Tsuchimikado had sent them. They were here to pick up the boy.

The boy had been picked up, and the two middle-schoolers were about to be taken off with, when two annoying teleporters had appeared.

Accelerator had simply stated that the four of them could handle the teleporters, he was tired, and he still had to track down several people.

He left them to battle it out.

And that was why he wandered the streets by himself, looking for a mop of blue hair, or a familiar spiky-headed boy. Either group he saw, he was going to attack and attempt to destroy them.

With that thought firmly in mind, he kept hobbling down the street, leaning heavily on the cane. He didn't want to leave Last Order with that moron any longer then he absolutely had too.

With that thought firmly in mind, he searched for the sake of getting this over with as soon as possible.

"Ah, that was hard, don't you agree?" The voice could only belong to one person- a blue-haired pervert.

"I agree~" The completely fake Kansai accent spoke, as a girl twirled into view. "Let's go find Kamijou and Tsuchimikado and come have them join us!"

"That's right- but you know~ I think that albino boy and girl are around here somewhere. We should invite them as well. Since that is coming!"

"Yes, indeed it is! Besides, it's going to be Nabe right?"

"Right!"

The two blue-heads turned as one to spot Accelerator standing in the street, frowning. 'That'? What exactly was 'that'?

"Oi, you two-"

"Come along now! It's time for us to move towards where our class is!"

Together, the two people easily caught Accelerator by the arms, lifted him slightly, and began walking down a street. Accelerator began to swear at them as his hands lifted towards the choker, before remembering that the network seemed overloaded right now, and he probably wasn't going to be that much better off.

But he was also on the exhausted side from using the black wings earlier.

Teeth ground together in helpless rage.

* * *

Touma gasped for breath as he leaned against the wall. "What just happened?"

Touka frowned in response, before slowly shaking her head. "It's just- someone I know. I wonder why…"

"Should we go back to help?" The question was completely serious and without hesitation.

When Misaka Imouto had abruptly stated that the two were no longer needed, and she was being called off on another errand, Touma had offered to get them drinks. Then he had bumped into an albino girl that reminded him of a certain someone…

Touka was silent for a moment, but there was no sound of chasing. It looked like Yuriko had just simply chased her off. "No. I don't think… Anyways, this sort of thing is my problem, so if anyone ought to go after her, it should be me."

"Ah- that's right! Here- this is for you."

Touma pulled the hairtie from off his wrist, and passed it over to her. It was plain black, with a small silver teardrop attached to where the ends met. It was probably at most, 100 yen. "It looked like your long hair kept on getting into the way, and so I thought you could use this to tie it back."

Touka blinked in surprise.

She- had never been given physical gifts before really. She had practically been forced to give one to Makoto once, and to the brothers when she couldn't tell them apart. But- she hadn't really gotten a gift.

"Sorry, I don't have anything I could possibly give back to you."

"It's fine." Touma airily brushed it off as she took the hairtie. "Like I said, it looked like it was getting in your way."

Truthfully, Touma had thought it a shame that he couldn't see her face all that well, but he wasn't about to tell her that.

She smiled back, and bowed slightly as she began running for the entrance of the alleyway. "Thank you, but I really ought to go see if that person is alright-"

Vroom!

Touka stopped dead as the sound of motorcycles came from before her, and a large, rough face appeared. "I found you. You gave us all the slip back there. We've been looking for you ever since."

"Wha-What- NOOO! SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

Touka turned and ran towards Touma, who took one look and began running himself.

Comically they found themselves yelling at each other much like they had the first time. "TAKE RESPONSIBILITY DARN YOU! IF YOU HADN'T DELAYED ME-"

"I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! BESIDES, HOW IS THIS MY FAULT? AHH- SUCH MISFORTUNE!"

He stumbled over a bucket full of water, grabbed it, turned, and splashed the water directly behind him. "You got my pants wet."

The deadly calm voice, deep and resonant made both tremble with terror as they looked up. There stood a man that could be even taller then Magnus, with his pants wet from the splash. It was rather stunning.

And scary.

With twin screams of terror, the two fled further back into the alleyways.

With a roar the delinquents followed.

Without looking they ran right by a large group of people, where a wide-eyed albino girl instantly recognized the two.

* * *

Omake

Yuriko casually stared at the second level five esper as she ranted and raved about how different the two of them were, and how she'd prove that she herself was the strongest-

A white wing flew out, clipping by her hair, and Yuriko's eyes widened as she instinctively reached up to clap a hand to the flower. The flower that the boy had given her was now ruined. Teeth ground, and red eyes glittered as Yuriko spat out, "I'll kill you."

Yomikawa arrived in time to see a red splatter on the ground, and Yuriko crouching over a clipped flower, pouting adorably.


	8. Phone Numbers

Yuriko took two steps forward, automatically inserting herself between the delinquents and the runners. Even if that boy was with Kamijou Touka, it was rather pitiful to see the heroic girl running away from a large group of delinquents. Honestly- where was her pride?

The boy stopped abruptly, turning as he realized that she had stepped into the way, and Touka turned with him, eyes widening. "Y-Yuriko! Look out-"

FWHOOM

Black wings stretched to the sky, as Yuriko snarled to the gaping delinquents, "Back. Off."

The delinquents, practically as one, turned tail and ran.

Touma blinked as the wings disappeared, and the girl twisted around to look at the two. "So- who are you anyways? I never did get your name."

A whistle came from the gathered class as someone shouted, "Oi, Touma! What's this? Can you call yourself a man anymore to be defended by a girl? Good luck though, you'll need it to tame this one!"

"WHY DO YOU ALL THINK OF ME AS SCUM? HUH? AND BESIDES, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TAME? THIS KAMIJOU TOUMA HAS NO INTENTION OF DOING ANY SUCH THING!"

"Oooh, Touka! I see you manged to get another boy following you! Oh, what do you have in your hand?"

"It-It's nothing! Besides, he doesn't like me or anything, we just got caught up in a series of misfortunate events-"

"Ooooh! So someone who can actually keep up with all the problems you bring?" Several boys sighed. "Lucky man."

"What part of that is lucky?"

The class was quickly degrading into a bickering squabble, when a loud throat cleared, and trembling, the class looked to see Seirei and Seisuke standing on top of a rock. "You two- give me your phone numbers now!"

There was no way to refuse that demand.

Touma and Touka confusedly said their numbers, which more then just Seirei and Seisuke began to enter into their own cell phones.

While they were thus discussing, they spotted a familiar mop of blue hair, and a hand waved. "Touma! Look at what we caught! This poor guy is pretty sad, so we as a class need to cheer him up!"

"Whoa! It's another albino person! Do you think that they're related to the girl?"

"No, no, no, if it did it would be setting it up for a sister comedy, which doesn't exist any more!"

"What, don't forget about the sis-con sergeant in our class!"

"Uwaa? You're right! Then that changes everything!"

The classes noise began to go up again, as they began to discuss the possibilities of whether or not Love Sister events still existed in this world.

"We're getting off subject! We need to first decide which Nabe shop we're going to. AOGAMI! Do you have a list?"

"Of course! Here's the list of all restaurants by uniform! The cutest are on the top!"

Seeing both of the blue-haired people whip the thick list from seemingly nowhere, the class cheered as they eagerly descended upon the lists.

* * *

Motoharu Tsuchimikado gasped for breath as he leaned against the wall. Really, what was going on today? After being caught up in a chase involving two black-winged people (Yuriko and Accelerator they quickly pierced together) The Aogami's, male and female, had abruptly abandoned them to the running claiming they had somewhere to go.

The chase went on, until the chasers had gotten tired of it, and went back to their duties.

"Well, what do we do now?" The male asked musingly. "I got back word that one Makoto that you told me about was sent through by the portal by Accelerator, along with Kurone, the guy that followed his Aniki…"

"That's two. I think Yuriko is getting the large group of people as well as the one in the sake-shop. I'm not certain as to who they are."

The two spies crouched down to begin discussing what was going on, quietly discussing how best to round up the people that had drifted through. "Shall I call Yuriko and see if she's done yet?"

Motoka took a deep breath, and pressed the dial button, putting it onto loudspeaker.

"What do you want?"

"Almost done Yuriko?"

"No- they recognized the person in the Sake shop as their teacher and proceeded to drag the two teachers off to eat Nabe- NO I DON'T WANT ANY! DON"T- MPH?"

There was the noisy sound of someone chewing, and a fist thumped down onto a table. "Don't stuff food into my mouth while I'm talking!"

"But, you looked hungry! Come on, you don't have to worry! We've taken care of the money already!"

The cheers rose beyond the phone, drifting through in a loud buzz. Someone shouted, "GO KOMOE-SENSEI! YOU'RE THE CUTEST ONE OUT THERE!"

"Anyways, Tsuchimikado, you come-"

"OOOHHHH!" The shouts of the class overpowered Yuriko's voice, as voices the two spies recognized shouted, "OI! TSUCHIMIKADO! YOU OUGHT TO COME JOIN US! YOU AND THE ENTIRE IDIOT DELTA FORCE! WE'VE GOT NABE THIS TIME INSTEAD OF SUKIYAKI! AND BEST OF ALL, KOMOE-SENSEI IS ALREADY DRUNK ENOUGH THAT SHE DOESN'T NOTICE WE'RE DRINKING AS WELL!"

"Back off!" Yuriko escaped with the cell phone to shout, "Anyways, get your rear over here- they're refusing to listen to me, and I- Wait a minute- isn't that him?"

The cell phone shut off, and Motoharu laughed. "I wish I could go join them. It sounds like they're having fun even with the war going on."

"You guys have a war going on as well?"

"Yeah. But still- those guys don't let anything get them down for long, do they?"

Motoharu shook his head as the two stood. They'd go relieve Yuriko of baby-sitting their class. As soon as they found the last few remaining people…

The cellphone began to ring once more, and with a blink, Motoka flipped it open. "Hello? Yurkio-"

"I forgot to tell you, but I found Kamijou Touka, and she's eating dinner with us, along with that guy that I met earlier… I can't believe this…"

Another cellphone began to ring, and Motoharu flipped open his own cell phone.

Accelerators voice bit out, "I found the two blue-haired perverts, and then we got caught up in your stupid class along with that stupid idiot. Get your rear over here now."

Confused, the two spies began to draw their magical circle, determined to find out what was going on.

To their surprise, all of the pebbles were rolling around a Nabe shop. "How- How on Earth did this happen?"

The two spies stared at the huge amount of stones that piled atop each other in the nabe shop area. At last they stood slowly, and began walking towards the restaurant.

* * *

"Oh my," The blond haired woman spoke, looking at her counterpart. "I didn't know that you planned this out."

"I didn't." The man said that statement simply. "Someone else sent the others through, and made it so that way everyone else gathered in one place, and then closed the portal on those two magicians. It wasn't my plan."

"Really, you shouldn't play with other people like that!" A third voice broke in, interrupting the conversation the two were having. Blue hair shone briefly in the dim light, before complete darkness fell.

"Who are you?"

"Just a concerned person. Touma and Tsuchimikado have both been so focused on what's going on, they haven't had a chance to relax, so I thought I'd help set up a day."

In the darkness, what could've been a smile glinted.

"But then Touma kept on running into dangerous people, so it wasn't very relaxing for him. So, this meal."

A hand lightly tapped the man on the forehead. "You won't mess with the portal until **after** everyone passes through, right?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good! Alright then, I gotta head back. It was nice meeting you!"

The door opened, the lights turned on, and the door closed without giving a single clear look as to who was the owner of the voice.

* * *

Kamijou Touma carefully cooked the Nabe for the table, wondering how on earth this arrangement had happened.

Accelerator sat across from him, glowering two holes into his head. Next to Accelerator sat the albino girl, Yuriko something, which had saved him and Touka from the delinquents.

The save by the girl had brought along much catcalling from his class, who then quickly left him alone when the girl threatened to use those black wings on them.

Then Accelerator had appeared, of all people, attempting to chase down and utterly destroy Aogami Pierce, who, seemed to find his soul mate. Both of their fetish calling had lead to a fetish battle taking place center-stage.

So Touma found himself sitting next to Touka, with black glares surrounding him from all sides, as the two fried up the Nabe.

The entire class cheered unexpectedly, making Touma's head rise. Tsuchimikado and a girl that looked like she could be his twin sister stood in the doorway, looking rather surprised. Touma got up to walk over to the two, as Touka remained sitting at her seat. "Honestly Kami-yan, did you decide to have fun without me?"

Aogami draped an arm over Tsuchimikado as he held up a bottle of Sake, "Drink! Komoe-sensei is asleep over there!"

The class, completely unsupervised except by the two Fukiyose 'siblings', were growing louder and louder as the alcohol began to flow freely. "Today has been a good day, wouldn't you agree, Kami-yan? Tsuchimikado?"

"Tch." Accelerator began to stand, when Touka grabbed him by the hand.

"Are you alright? You look a little red-"

Accelerator stared at her for a few seconds, before attempting to pull his hand away. "I'm fine! Sheesh- you remind me of that guy-"

A dark glare was sent towards Kamijou, and Touka smiled as she patted the empty seat that Touma had been sitting in earlier. "You can sit here if you want. I'll finish up cooking the Nabe-"

"I'll take Accelerators old seat then."

Touma sat down next to the albino girl, as she felt redness creeping up into her cheeks once more.

Motoharu looked at Motoka, and the two grinned helplessly. There wasn't much they could do at this point, so-

"AOGAMI! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DRINKING CONTEST!"

The partying went deep into the night, with cellphone numbers and such flowing freely.

At last the female Aogami stood up, cheering, "Hey, My class! I have something to show you!"

The male blue-head also began beckoning his own class.

The two classes separated with shouts, yells, and laughter, as the female blue-head lead them unerring to the portal, and right through the portal.

Not a single one of the students later could understand why none of the phone numbers they had gotten would work.

* * *

**Omake**

Aleister stared at the screens full of destruction, muttering, "Just as planned, just as planned- Who is going to pay for all of this?"

"You would sir, aren't you? After all, it's public, not private. I hope you had insurance."

"What happened to my beautiful plans?"

"Um- sir?"

"Fine, I'll put it on Kamijou Touma's tab. The next time he tries to use an ATM card, it will eat it, and take all of the money."


End file.
